The Vault: We are Dead Sexy and Stealthy

Were Dead Sexy

The Vault: We are Dead Sexy and Stealthy

100% Discreet Delivery: Guaranteed

We're Dead Sexy

Don’t worry Vault fans! As you’ve no doubt realised, the image of our talented Vault hottie above is simply the result of our bawdy dispatch elves having a bit of saucy fun during a rare moment of respite from their frenzied seed-slinging activities: They’ve got to let off steam somehow!

Unlike the comical scene depicted above, our delivery services are incredibly stealthy: Our dependable dispatch team members are professional, efficient and fastidious when it comes to protecting customer privacy.

When you place an order with The Vault, you can sit back and relax, safe in the knowledge that your parcel will skip under the radar, making its way to you unscathed: And that’s a guarantee.

Your privacy and security matters to us: (We’re not called ‘The Vault’ for nothing)

All orders are sent in the original packaging from the breeders: These quality goods are wrapped up; then carefully encased within DVD cases, or small cardboard boxes, or other methods we are not going to publicise.  Next, bubble-wrap envelopes are used to add an extra layer of protection.  In some cases, alternative packaging might be used, if an extra defensive shield is required.

Whichever method we use for wrapping it up, your package will be 100% discreet, with no hints as to the nature of its contents: When you sign for your order, no one will have a clue what’s inside: That’s between you and us!

It’s also worth mentioning that transactions made via will show up on your account in an incredibly discreet fashion, as coming from ‘The Vault’.

Our dispatch elves might not be as sexy as the Vault hotties, but they are sure as hell stealthy!

We couldn’t possibly share photos of our real dispatch elves, (They are notoriously shy, and as incredibly stealthy as a bunch of sneaky ninja-hobbits) or show pictures from within our ultra-secure vault dispatch facilities, without giving away our super-secret, Area 51-worthy formula for making our shipping the stealthiest in the industry: You’ll just have to trust us – and our army of loyal, happy customers – that we’ll make sure your seeds get to you discreetly – every time.

The sauciest, sexiest….seeds around!

If you were disappointed at the news that a Vault hottie won’t be delivering your order: (It could just as likely be a big hairy bloke called Dave) Don’t worry – you can be sure that your sexy seeds will set your pulse racing, raise your temperature and make you feel like ripping the packaging off with your teeth.

Whether you are turned on by the lascivious charms of our foxy feminised seeds, seek to have an erotic encounter with our auto-flowering seeds, or just want to get down and dirty with some good old fashioned regular seeds, we have all of your kinks covered: Nudge, nudge, wink, wink!

Browse our seed categories if you’re feeling in the mood for some sexy photos

In order to help our customers get a good idea as to the full genetic potential contained within each of the seeds contained in our massive library, we’ve made sure to get official product photography direct from the breeders themselves, to ensure that every tasty trichome, each sexy Sativa leaf and all those oh-so sensual, fat sticky buds can be studied up close and personal in glorious detail.

The only thing seedy about us is our seeds!

At The Vault, we offer 100% guaranteed delivery, 100% legal seeds and 100% secure payment: We’re legit – you know it, we know it – and, if you spread the word to your buds who haven’t heard of us yet (What, they live in a cave?), they’ll know it too!

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