The Best And Worst Ways to Smoke Weed

 

This morning I was talking to a friend of mine about the old days and he brought up hot knifing. I’m sure many of you remember this well, but if you don’t it was just a horrifying way that young people used to huff up low-quality hash in the 90s and 2000s. Whether or not the youth of today are still practising this bizarre and unpleasant method I don’t honestly care to know. However, it did get me thinking about all the different ways mankind has found to smoke weed.  Of course, we are largely familiar with the basic joints, pipes and pens but what else is out there. I certainly remember that back in the day being creative was all part of the game, whether it went well or not was neither here nor there. The following are a mixture of the very best and very worst ways to consume cannabis. Whether these methods are good or bad is largely down to opinion, and this is mine.

 

Hot Knives 

 

Since we already brought up the travesty that is hot knife smoking we may as well just rip off the plaster. I’m sure many out there will disagree with me when I say that this is one of the worst ways to smoke weed. Perhaps it’s the fact that it reminds me of spending time as a teenager in the dingy dirty kitchen of a council flat, hunched over two poor knives that would never again be fit for use as cutlery. Perhaps it’s because it reminds me of exceedingly cheap solid that someone got from their mum’s boyfriend and would always give you a headache. Either way, this method consists of cutting the bottom from a plastic bottle, heating the knives until red hot, jamming a slab of sticky black between the knives and then inhaling through the open bottle top positioned above it. Hot knifing is not only unpleasant but confusingly complex when it comes to coordination. Definitely, something that you would need a friend to help you with and generally just not at all worth the effort.

 

Bong

 

Let us move on to a slightly lighter note and an absolute classic, the bong. Bongs have always been a favourite because they are fun, social and come in a wide variety of shapes and sizes. I will say that enormously long bongs seem insane to me as it takes forever to inhale and by the time it reaches the top your lungs only have a sliver of space left for actual smoke. However, most bongs and especially short ones are low maintenance and an easy way to get a decent smoke. For those who aren’t familiar, although I doubt that’s many of you, a bong is a glass, plastic, metal, ceramic or really any material instrument with a long pipe, a small hole in the back and a cradle on the front where you place your weed or your mix. As I say they come in a wide variety of styles which means there is always going to be something to suit you. Plus they get to work much faster than many other forms of smoking.

 

Gravity Bong 

 

Again this may be personal but gravity bongs absolutely go on my list of convoluted nonsense ways to smoke weed. I remember that they were terribly en vogue during my youth, but I could never quite understand what the point of going to such an effort was. The most basic form was the bucket gravity bong. What one would need for this were a 2-litre bottle and a bucket. One would cut off the bottom of the bottle and pop it into the bucket full of water. Pop the bowl in the top of the bottle, light it and draw the bottle up, letting the slowly lowering water level draw in the smoke. As long as the bottom of the bottle didn’t leave the water the smoke would be trapped inside and then inhaled from the top of the bottle. Many used to say that this would get you stoned without using too much weed, but honestly, the difference never seemed enough to warrant quite so much faff.

 

Vape Pen 

 

I know it’s ever so trendy to go on about vape pens, but I think it is one of the easiest and most effective ways to smoke these days. It has the added bonus of being allegedly better for you due to the vapour being less lung destroying than smoke. Of course, this method also doesn’t mess around with carcinogenic tobacco. There are a wide variety of vape pens available on the market, so again it is easy to find one that suits you perfectly. They come in a wide range of sizes, shapes, prices and levels of tech. The great thing about vape pens is that all you need to have to hand is the pen and some weed. No skins or half-cut bottles, not baccy or grinders or any of that. Most simply have a chamber that allows you to pop in the weed and get moving. For the stoner on the go, a vape pen is a must.

 

Can 

 

Another one that looms from the edges of my memory and extends its claws out of the shadows to make me feel shame is the can pipe. Honestly, there are few feelings other than embarrassment that I associate with the idea of utilising an old drink can to smoke weed. This was a method that I don’t believe has even been used by anyone over the age of 16. It involved bending a drink can, poking holes in the top and then poking another hole in the side. Then voila, you had a makeshift pipe that tasted faintly of saccharine and cheap metal. Sure this is a cheap and easy method, but I think at this stage we have to decide if we value convenience over our dignity. I certainly did at one point, so I’ll try not to judge.

 

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