If you live in a flat building, have close neighbours or even live with people who don’t like you smoking weed then there are ways that you can be discreet. Discretionary smoking isn’t as tricky as it seems. Usually, the smell is the primary issue, but there are a few ways that you can put an end to that. Of course, if you are looking to smoke sneakily in public you may encounter some other issues as well. No matter if you want to keep the neighbourly peace or you are stressed after work and just can’t wait to get home there are ways for you to get high without bothering anyone.
Obviously, the easiest way to get stoned without anyone noticing is to use edibles and other smokeless alternatives. Even vaping tends to be a lot less obvious, but if you’re really set on bongs and joints here are your options.
At Home
The first thing that comes up when you look for discreet smoking practices is the sploof. Not only is it a lot of fun to say, but discreet smokers swear by it. The sploof is not used for the smoking itself but instead is used to deal with the exhaled smoke. It uses filters that grab onto the exhaled molecules and reduce the smell. Originally sploofs were usually homemade, but as they increase in popularity more and more companies are starting to produce them. The first sploofs were usually fashioned from a cylindrical object like a toilet roll tube with a piece of paper towel fastened over the end with a rubber band.
Now the method by which people create sploofs has advanced. Often smokers will opt for dryer sheets over paper towels as they are more absorbent. They are extremely easy to make as I mentioned earlier. All you need is either a loo roll tube or a bottle with the bottom cut off. Whack the dryer sheet over the other end and fasten it in place with a rubber band. This should last for about two smoking sessions before it starts to get oversaturated and begins to let the scent through again. Are they completely effective? No, obviously they are going to let a little bit of a smell through but if you build it well and are careful it should massively reduce the weed scent.
If you are worried about your home stinking of weed the general advice is to distract with a complementing scent rather than just trying to cover the smell up. Instead of an incredibly obvious smell like Febreze go for a room spray, preferably a slightly botanical one. Maybe add some sort of lovely smelling candle into the mix. It’s likely that those who aren’t super aware of what weed smells like will lose the scent amongst the others. Honestly, after adding in other similar but nicer smells it can start smelling really good.
Another aspect of smoking weed is having a stash, and if you have visitors that you want to protect from the truth you may want to be careful. Keep your weed in a container that seals fully so that it is basically smell proof. Either just put it somewhere people won’t snoop or you can get fun stash hiding places that look like books and clocks.
Outdoors
If you want to smoke outside, say in a park, and are worried about someone seeing then there are pipes that intentionally smoke far faster than the normal options. These are usually referred to as “one hitters” and will usually give you what you’re after in about 15 seconds. These pipes were literally created for discretion and for just having a sneaky hit while you’re on the go. DART pipes are probably the most popular on the market and have an under 15-second guarantee. They also have a click-to-ash function so even that aspect of it is extremely discrete. They also come with a smell proof canaster so you can carry your pre-ground weed around with you and don’t have to faff before smoking.
The other sensible option is using a vape pen when you’re outside. At home, it isn’t really necessary but when you’re in public you can get away with smoking while looking like you just use a tobacco vape. I understand that a lot of people prefer not to use vapes because the potency isn’t as high as in a pipe or a joint, but sometimes you have to make sacrifices if you don’t want to be stared at.
If you are a brave baby and want to fully smoke a joint in public there are ways that you can make the entire act more discreet. First of all, it’s unlikely that you’ll smoke an entire joint in one go publicly, so you might want something smell-proof to put it in afterwards. Otherwise, you’re not going to be very subtle while you walk around for the rest of the day. One of the main things when smoking a joint in public is don’t do it right next to anyone and don’t look worried. If you just don’t care a lot of people will realise they don’t care either because there’s no drama to the situation. Also probably don’t smoke with a large group as that is guaranteed to draw attention.
Hiding That You’re Stoned
A part of discreet smoking can be hiding that you’re stoned. If you have to go out somewhere and accidentally got too baked beforehand you can sober up/hide that you’re high. Showering is the first thing, then you’re less likely to smell like weed. Along with this probably give those teeth a brush. Grab yourself some eyedrops for those red peepers and drink plenty of water. You can also drink some coffee, the smell of coffee completely cancels out the weed, or carry some mints with you. Then the main thing is to try and not act like a complete lunatic. It’ll be pretty easy for people to tell that you’re high if you don’t act normal. As someone who is literally not capable of this I just don’t get high before I have to do things.
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