Today it is grey outside, I’m filled to the brim with the fresher’s flu (a horrible cold caused by university children), and I’m eating a bowl of sugary delicious mini chocolate Weetabix. That got me thinking about cereal which has always been one of the staples of the stoner diet. I then started wondering why that is, which ones are the very best for stoned snacking, and how the less hungry stoner can use cereal as a meal replacement. There must be umpteen reasons that weed makes you so extremely hungry for cereal so I’m going to have a look into the why as well as the which. We might also throw in some cereals to avoid while we are here. Who knows I can barely see and I’ve been breathing through my mouth for so long that my throat feels like it’s full of sandpaper ferrets. Let’s do this!
Why Do We Crave Cereal While Stoned?
The munchies tend to happen more with certain strains than others, but they are usually a staple part of the stoned experience. We’ve talked a few times about how cannabis tickles various brain receptors, one of which is responsible for appetite. So often when we are high we will want to keep eating and eating even though we are full just to enjoy the food. Many a time I have lain back on the couch like a tiny walrus in a jumper and passed into a fluffy food coma after an excessive stoned takeaway. So that’s why we crave food, but why is cereal specifically so popular?
Well, there’s nothing particularly scientific about the answer to that question. Cereal is varied, inexpensive, easy and can be eaten in huge amounts without making you super full. It is even a great option for those who don’t feel hungry when stoned but know they have to eat something. It isn’t greasy or heavy or difficult to make. Put whatever you’re craving in a bowl, throw any kind of milk at it and you’re ready to go. Hell, I’m a big fan of just shoving my paw straight into the box for a dry crunchy treat. There are so many cereals available that it’s difficult to decide exactly what to choose, but let’s look at some of the most popular.
Honey Nut Cheerios
Ok, I’m being a bit naughty and putting my favourite first. Not only am I a huge fan of the understated sweetness of honey flavoured cereals but they, in my humble opinion, create the most delicious milk. When stoned I think one of the best parts of eating cereal is getting to down the sugary cold milk afterwards. For those of you who prefer your cereal milkless then these are still a great option. They are just as yummy dry and perfect for shovelling into your mouth like a hungry bear.
I’d give Honey Nut Cheerios 11/10 because now I’m suddenly doing a rating system. They get an extra point because sometimes the word nut is funny when you’re high.
Lucky Charms
Now I’ve never had Lucky Charms because I’m Scottish and I don’t know where to get them. However, I’ve seen enough stoner media to know that Lucky Charms are extremely popular high snacks in the USA. They are an option for those with a serious sweet tooth. I think the other aspect of these is that there is a fair bit of controversy over them. In my extensive research on the matter, I’ve noticed some very split opinions on Lucky Charms. Basically, if you are the kind of stoner that likes sweetness, a mix of textures and lots of sugar these are for you.
I’m going to give them a 6/10 because I think I’d hate them based on my general preferences.
Krave
This is one that I had to put on the list due to the combination of textures as well as their dry eatability. I don’t think that’s a word but let’s move right along. Krave are those fun little pillows of wheat with chocolate inside. They don’t do anything super impressive to milk, in this case, the cereal is the main event. While researching I discovered that this cereal was originally released in Isreal. This is one of the best cereals to just eat without milk straight from the box. I think this is a close second favourite of mine.
I’ll give this one a 9/10, purely because I really like to drink the milk after and this isn’t a particularly important factor of this brand.
Coco-Pops
If I am looking at classics that make super great milk then Coco-Pops are a fantastic go-to. If I’m craving sugar cereal at any time these are usually the ones I go for. Since they are just tiny rice puffs covered in chocolate you can eat bowl after bowl without feeling full. This makes them ideal for anyone who eats for sensation when stoned rather than because they are hungry. These aren’t as good for eating dry out of the box with your hands, purely because they get everywhere if you’re not careful. Basically, anything that’s enjoyable to eat then gives you a big bowl of chocolate milk afterwards is alright with me.
I’ll give Coco-Pops a 10/10, partly because I like them and because this rating system has lost all meaning to me.
Reese’s Puffs
These are great, I had them for the first time recently at a buddies house and I have to admit I hadn’t even heard of them before. I’ve always been partial to a Reese’s Piece but this gives you a lighter alternative that also creates delicious milk. The combination of chocolate and peanut butter is one of the most enjoyable stoner flavour mixes. Putting this in cereal form where it can be consumed with lovely sugary milk or eaten by the wobbly handful was just a great idea. I’ll give these another 10/10 because Honey Nut Cheerios are the only ones I deem good enough to get extra points.
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